Why Stiff Parents Need LOTS of Yoga!
Our teacher Sean O’Leary shares his thoughts on yoga practice, parenting and roadblocks along the way!
This past weekend I took a two-day workshop with Iyengar Yoga teacher Krisna Zawaduk in Vancouver to explore some of the more challenging poses found in the back of B.K.S. Iyengar’s Light On Yoga. There was an empasis on practicing within our limits and all were included throughout the workshop with the assistance of some clever prop usage to achieve these complex shapes. It was a challenging and inspiring weekend that left me feeling amazing, and of course offered some great takeaways which I’ll share below.
Sometimes we need to practice more, not perfect.
The first 3.5-hour session Saturday was spent working on lots of forward folds, hip opening poses, twists that lead us to some really fun inversions and arm balancing poses. It was so fun and refreshing to practice the poses repeatedly and “stay in the flow”. Krisna gave amazingly clear instructions and kept things light hearted with tips like “falling is learning!”. Missing were long demonstrations and long streams of instruction on perfect alignment and actions common in Iyengar classes. THIS WAS NEEDED. With challenging poses like parsva bakasana (side crow), eka pada koundinyasana, and astavakrasana (8 angle pose) we are all beginners and need to try and try again with the fundamental actions and ideas to execute. When a pose is that challenging there is no perfection only practice. So we all enjoyed the “beginners mindset” together and shared some laughs!
Choose courage, not fear.
Day two really got us moving and mobilizing with some standing poses, ukatasana on repeat, and of course building some intelligence in the body (spine especially) for us to pursue back bending postures, some quite advanced. As someone who has an aversion to bending backwards (like most!) I found the repetition of shoulder/armpit opening and lifting the waist (without arching the lumbar) so effective to prepare for the fireworks. When we were working (and working more) on the deeper backbends the idea of finding courage to maintain the actions we had prepared all class (lifting, shoulder and upper back opening) was such an important factor for success. When there is fear or hesitation then comes tension and our old friend stiffness. Not to mention all the mental aversions and even anxiety we can experience when facing such demanding yoga postures. These feelings can jump right from the mind into the body and make for unhappy back bending! Choosing courage over fear, for me, really removed all roadblocks and discomforts in the back-bending postures. I committed to the actions learned over the class and I left feeling light as a feather, and A LOT TALLER! For me this was a big success to overcome adversities on my mind and really find my inner strength and confidence (it was there all along!).
Stiff Parents Really Need Yoga
After holding babies, toddlers, and now full-grown kiddos for the past 5 years I can say for certain the stiff parent psychology really kicks in. This “mental” block is the real deal and influenced by crazy stiff neck, back, hips, slouched posture all that come with the territory of taking care of little people. Personally, sometimes I tell myself I can’t do advanced poses because “I’m an old stiff dad and feel like a dried-out piece of leather”. After time, without trying hard poses it becomes a reality. Spending the weekend with Krisna was so inspiring and really helped me break through that mental idea that I can’t do. I can do whatever I work on. This is sadhana and all yoga practitioners know it is easy to fall into habit on our mat and only do the “maintenance” poses and the supta virasana’s after a hard day. I now see that with unwavering dedication and letting go of the idea’s we have about our bodies abilities there is more freedom and possibility in our practice. So, I suppose don’t hold onto those ideas and judgements and practice in the moment and work towards each pose with courage and caution (thanks to Garth McLean for that quote!).
Although I didn’t get my head to my feet in kapotasana I still felt so much success in my practice and freedom in my body during and after the workshop. Whenever we gather together to share yoga I get inspired and see yoga practice through a new lens!
My final thoughts are to keep kindling my inner fire while practicing, do so with joy, share space with others (we can do that AGAIN!), and make sure not to forget that all important self-love!